By Prudence Minayo
Bi. Mswafari is a marriage counsellor who is known for her popular Mawaidha na Bi Msafwari segment aired on Citizen TV every Saturday after the Swahili news bulletin. Initially, she was paired with Lulu Hasan and Kanze Dena before the latter was replaced by Rashid Abdalla. The counselor has made fans and a number of haters especially among the ‘girl child’ who feel her advice is archaic and is designed to enslave women. The iron lady believes she has what it takes to offer advice to Muslims as well as Christians.
Bi Mswafari is a 57-year-old woman that comes from the coastal part of Kenya.
Her husband died leaving her and their children. Most people came up with the narrative that her husband chased her and she has no children but she denied the allegations and confirmed her husband is dead. She went on to state that when he was alive, her husband treated her like a rose. To the claim that she has no children, she said she gave birth till her husband hated her.
A lot of people believe her advice favours men and not women. However, she has fans that believe in her advice. They even write to her to know more about how to form a lasting marriage. Some fans have come up with Facebook page called “ All Kenyan Men for Bi. Mswafari of Citizen TV Saturday”. Those who follow this page believe the lady gives sound advice that is key to having a successful marriage. Below are four most famous advice from the counselor.
30 rules for changed women
She prescribed 30 rules quoted from the Bible on how a changed woman should behave. The first ten are:
Never raise your voice at your husband for any reason. Its a sign of disrespect (prov 15:1)
Don’t expose your husband’s weaknesses to your family and friends. You are each other’s keeper (Eph 5v12)
Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them (prov 15:13)
Never compare your husband to other men, you’ve no idea what their life is like
Never ill treat your husband’s friends because you don’t like them, the person who is supposed to get rid of them is your husband (prov11v22)
Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else (Gen 2v24)
Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility (Eph 5v33)
Never blame your husband if he comes home empty handed rather encourage him (Deut 3v28)
Never be a wasting wife, your husband’s sweat is too precious to be wasted
Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex (SS 7v12)
Advice concerning maids
For a long time, a lot of women have been losing their husbands to househelps. Bi. Mswafari comes up with rules that a woman should follow to avoid such a scenario. They are:
Let your bedroom be sacred
Limit her contact with your hubby
Set a dress code
Keep some duties to yourself, such as, cooking your hubby’s meals and washing his clothes.
Setting clear boundaries by avoiding too much familiarity.
Advice on phones
The advice about praising a husband that switches his phone upon arriving home.
This advice did not sit well with many Kenyans who believed her to be misleading people. Some comments from annoyed Kenyans were:
Samuel Karanja: Instead of telling people to be faithful you are saying men should switch off their phones..!? I totally disagree with you on that.
Anne Wangoi: That’s one way of knowing a cheater.
However, few people agreed with her.
Advice on step-father
This advice angered a lot of people, especially women. They thought she was being selfish by saying that women should leave their kids with their mothers and not go with them to a second marriage.
Many were angered with this statement with some people asking what she smokes or why people are still listening to the old hag.
Bi Mswafari’s Response to Criticism
The relationship expert is not fazed by any negativity or criticism .She continues to do her thing like no man’s business. Once she made the following statement,
“As a leader, people always want to kick you out because you always tell the truth that they don’t want to hear.”
The Kenya Film and Classification Board CEO, Ezekiel Mutua once vowed to crack down on the primetime marriage counselor as well as Maina Kageni and others who discuss sexual topics outside the specified time.
He wrote the following edited message on Facebook:
“So Muhammed Ali, Ezekiel Mutua and KFCB are trending on Twitter. Reason? I have announced that wedding show programs, marriage counsellors like Bi. Mswafari (Citizen TV) and those who host such…………I will walk to the studio with police and have the said Bi. Mswafari, Maina and Kingangi arrested if they defy these guidelines……….” Read part of the post.
Bi. Mswafari’s exact net worth is not known but it may amount to millions of Kenyan Shillings.