When celebrated gospel singer and pastor Joan Wairimu married Bishop William Mwangangi in a church wedding in 1996, she had every intention of staying true to the words, “till death do us part”. And so, with every passing year, she pulled back the tears, swept her insecurities under the rag, and tried to make it work.
However, in 2013, she filed for divorce, ending her 17-year marriage to Bishop Mwangangi.
Traditional African societies often hold marriage to a high regard, and at the worst end of it, famous or prominent married person, whose lives often come under the microscope. Its always almost as if, once you gain higher status in society, you cease to be a mere mortal. You’re expected to be perfect – the fear of being judged based on this notion locked Pastor Wairimu in an abusive marriage for 17 years.
In a detailed 2020 interview, the ‘Pambazuka na Yesu’ hitmaker conceded that she remained in the marriage for fear of how people would judge her, because she was a celebrated figure.
“For the sake of all people who know you as a role model, the congregation, it was difficult for me to walk out. I would smile and pretend it was all okay, but I was not because he did all wrongs to me,” she said.
“He was cheating with church ladies, beating me and many times he threatened to kill me.”
Five years into the marriage, Joan knew her’s was cooked. She was, however, determined to kept her family intact by making her marriage work.
“It was a very hard reality to accept that someone you love can hurt you. It is not once or twice that I was threatened to be killed. There were so many times he carried a knife in the bedroom and told me it was the end and he was going to kill me and end his life as well,” she said.
For every incident, Bishop Mwangangi apologised and life went on. At one time, he allegedly bribed their houseboy, manipulating him to write a letter implying she was making sexual advances towards him.
“It was a public false accusation and there is nothing tough like when you are a public person trying to protect your name, then someone else is accusing you falsely to tarnish your name,” Pastor Wairimu said.
He threatened to soil her name should she leave the marriage. She ignored pleas by her mother and other close relatives to leave.
“I lost a nerve in one of the ears because of being beaten. My mother-in-law even told me to take care,” she recounted, adding that he had denied fathering three of their children.
“After many years of beating, he denied he is the biological father of my children. A person who has made you deaf wakes up one day and say he is not the biological father,” Pastor Wairimu posed.
“I asked myself, who will I tell the children their dad is? The children had to do a DNA, and so I had to explain to them the reason they had to go through the DNA,” she narrated.
Initially, Bishop Mwangangi denied that their marriage was over, describing Wairimu as a “woman to love”.
“Our differences are solvable. I love her and she still is the woman of my dreams,” the bishop said.
Joan relocated to Canada with her children and is the founder of Queens Ministry International.
