Stemy Yelsha knows how it feels to be raised by a toxic parent. From a young age, she always felt the lack of love from her mother. Speaking on her YouTube channel and to Lynn Ngugi, Stemy explained her struggles in Germany and hopes for a better future in Kenya.
Here is her story as told by WoK.
Stemy was brought up by a single mother who left Kenya for Norway when she was about 10 years old. The people charged with taking care of her mistreated her and when her mother came back, she shared what had been happening in her absence. The mum did not do anything and continued to freely talk with them. This really hurt her.
Later, she started dating a man from Germany. The relationship involved a lot of fighting and she would often get thrown into their fights.
When her mother told her they would move to Germany, she initially refused. She only accepted when she threatened to leave her and not bother with her once she was gone.
Relocating to Germany
Life in Germany was not easy. In the beginning, they lived with her stepfather’s sister and the environment was toxic.
She spent a lot of time in her room and did not bother to interact with them. When they moved out, it was still the same until she got adopted by a German family.
However, she didn’t know how to relate with them and the younger child of the family felt she was taking up all the attention. School was also difficult and she did not manage to make friends.
According to her, most Germans are not friendly towards outsiders. This would later be reflected when she had her daughter who would be discriminated against whenever they went to the playground. Other kids did not want to play with her.
She moved out and began living alone while still a teenager. It was during this time that she met her daughter’s father, a Nigerian by nationality.
The relationship was filled with fights until she finally left. As she went to renew her documentation, which was due to expire in three months, she was given an appointment one year later.
This made it difficult for her to get a job without proper documentation. Seeking help from the Red Cross, she was advised to go back to her daughter’s father in order to be helped with paperwork.
Later, as she went to inquire if they could give her an earlier date for the renewal of her documents, they informed her she was being deported from Germany.
They seized her passport and she finally told them that she had no qualms leaving. She only asked for time as she had no Kenyan ID and no contacts in Kenya. They accepted and even helped her take business courses.
Returning to Kenya
She returned to Kenya having thrown away most of her belongings. The 24-year-old was only allowed to carry 27kg worth of luggage for herself and the same amount for her daughter.
Neither her mother or daughter’s father helped her with the move and she took care of everything and drove to the airport alone.
The content creator is passionate about photography and make up and would love to make a career out of it. Unfortunately, her mother never called to find out if she even arrived safely in Kenya and for this she vowed never to forgive her.